


And When I Said That I Loved You, I Meant Forever

by ToLiveForWells



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-04
Updated: 2018-12-03
Packaged: 2019-09-06 19:38:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16839079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ToLiveForWells/pseuds/ToLiveForWells
Summary: You agreed to stay with Eobard after everything he did. You returned to his time, his place, in his promise to leave your friends and your family be. You became time-displaced, not only to save your friends, but because, deep down, you truly loved Eobard. Despite all he had done, you felt, somewhere, there was a good part to him, and you worked your hardest to draw it out of him. It took one unexpected surprise to put the ultimate strain on your relationship. It was make it or break it, and Eobard did all he could to ensure you would make it.





	1. Chapter 1

You left everything you knew behind for him. You did it to save the family you had built during your time in Central City; Team Flash, your friends around the city, the girl at CC Jitters who always remembered your order. Everything you had grown accustomed to and comforted with was gone.

You found yourself on the same earth sometime around the year 2198. Despite being on the same earth in the same dimension, everything changed. Tech was infinite miles ahead of the 21st century. Transportation, medicine, even people were different. Eobard had told you that the key to immortality was within the grasp of scientists, a prospect which both astounded and terrified you all at once. 

It had taken you a fair bit of time, but you managed to adjust to the sights and sounds of your new life. You and Eobard shared a lavish home, modern in every sense of the word. High ceilings, glass fixtures, and lights that seemed to come from no where made up the place you called home. You missed the simplicity of your old apartment at times, the small space felt cozy and comfortable. You felt safe. Here, the vulnerability of the open concept home always had you on edge, especially if you were home alone late at night; glass houses and all that.

The passing days turned to weeks, turned to months, and before you knew it, a year had passed and you had fallen into a routine. You had found yourself a job at the coffee shop that was once, a very long time ago, your favorite place in Central City. It took you a while to adjust to the new methods of coffee preparations, especially since coffee had, at that point, gone extinct and people had to rely on a genetically engineered coffee substitute. You admitted it tasted exactly like coffee, maybe even a little better, and the caffeine buzz was one that could last you all day.

You were able, for the most part, to keep a level head and keep on with your newfound life of the future. Every once in a while, however, you felt the sharp sting in your chest from the sadness. You missed Barry and Iris, Cisco, Caitlin, everyone back in your time. Sometimes you would stop on the way home from work to see the graves of your lost family. It was strange seeing their headstones and memorials, forever engraved in stone. To this time, they were long passed memories, but to you, well, you knew they were alive.

You took your time walking home on one particular evening. It was a beautiful fall day, the sun setting beneath the skyline of the city. As you walked you couldn’t help but wonder why Eobard had chosen Central City as his new residence. You thought it was a bit strange, all things considered. Your hands traced the walls of the buildings you passed, all familiar at that point, yet still so foreign to you. You had done so well as a scientist in your past life, but in this life everything was different. You barely knew how to work your own stove let alone figure out how to study astrophysics applicable to the 22nd century.

You came home smelling of coffee and artificial cows milk to Eobard, standing in the main hall on the phone, muttering something about a deal, and a political favor. If there was one thing you weren’t used to, it was the political power and wealth Eobard possessed in this time. You walked over to him, your feet aching from a day of standing behind a counter making fake coffee. He smiled as he saw you and opened up his free arm while his other hand held the phone to his ear. You accepted his embrace, resting your head against his chest and listening to the sound of his voice rumble deep in his chest. You sighed contentedly as you felt Eobard’s grip tighten around your shoulders.

He hung up the phone at last and tilted your chin up, placing a gentle kiss on your lips. He smiled at you, his hand gently caressing your cheek. “Welcome home.”

You returned a weary smile, looking up at Eobard, “thank you. How was your day?”

Eobard loosened the tie around his neck and unbuttoned his collar, “I only just arrived home a few moments before you. Needless to say, it’s been exhausting. When are you going to agree to become my associate? I’d much rather have you in my office every day than making my coffee.”

You laughed, “sure, me, an associate. Maybe once I can figure out how to operate a holo-table so I can check the weather I’ll consider it.”

“Suit yourself, then. The position is always open for you.”

You loved Eobard, you really did. The gentle side of him was far more present than it ever was before. It almost felt reminiscent of when he was still Harrison Wells in terms of the gentle ways he would talk you down from anxiety or doubt. But despite the kindness a part of you remained fearful of him. You knew what he could do and what he was capable of. He was stronger than you could ever be, and that terrified you now more than ever.

It was only recently that you noticed your period was late, not only late, but it didn’t come at all. You weren’t sure how pregnancy tests worked in the future and you were too scared to tell Eobard. You prayed it was just a late after-effect of the time travel and everything would pass. You soon realized that luck would not be in your favor.

It was on that particular fall evening that you finally decided you had no choice but to tell him. You would begin showing eventually and at that point it would be blatantly obvious what was going on. You took a slow, deep breath and on the exhale breathed out, “Eobard?”

He looked down at you, “yes? Are you alright? You seem on edge.”

You swallowed hard, looking down, “I need you to know something important, and I need you to remain calm for both of our sake’s. This is not what I had hoped or planned for but, I am…” You hesitated, chewing your lip, “I’m pregnant.”

You tensed, waiting for a reaction, an outburst or a string of words flying out, but none came. All you heard was a quiet “hmm.”

“Are you okay?” You asked, glancing up at him.

He had a stern look on his face as he gazed straight ahead at nothing in particular. “This is unexpected, isn’t it?”

You nodded.

“You seem frightened. Why?” He asked, his attention turning to you suddenly.

You jumped a bit at his sudden shift, a vision flashed across your mind’s eye, a memory of those very words when Team Flash first found out that Harrison Wells was not who he claimed. You shivered, the anxiety pulsating through your mind.

You had resorted to your usual anxious patters. You clutched your own arms, chewed on your lip, and sealed your eyes as tight as they could go. You felt a hand on your shoulder, but out of the fear you held in at that moment, you jerked away.

“You’re scared of me?” A quiet whisper came from behind you.

You opened your eyes, quivering a bit as you looked over at Eobard who had taken some steps back to give you space. “Y/n, I thought you trusted me now.”

“Trust is something that is difficult to build and easy to break, Eobard. I’m sorry, but fear is a powerful force that can keep trust from being rebuilt.”

He nodded slightly, “You know, I know it’s hard to trust me after all of this, but, as you stand before me today, I wish only to protect you. And now I have more of a reason than ever,” he took a cautious step forward, “I understand your fear, and I will do everything in my power to remedy it. Know that I will care for you, and our child.” He said softly.

You looked into the softened blue eyes that presently showed nothing but love and sympathy. You relaxed a bit, the cold grip of anxiety and panic lessening in your chest. “Thank you, Eobard.” You released a shaky sigh, “Well, I don’t know how it works here, but I guess we should go to a doctor soon?” You said with a tired smile.

Eobard gave in return a gentle smile, slowly walking to your side taking your hand as softly and as gently as if you were the most fragile thing on earth, “I keep my word to you, I will do everything in my power to do everything for you.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You expected the pregnancy to put a strain on your relationship with Eobard. You’re missing your family and friends more than ever at this point as your hormones take control of your thoughts. Eobard does his best to comfort you, be there for you, but he knows only home will make you whole again.

As the months wore on and you continued to grow, you began missing home more than ever. Perhaps it was just the hormones, or perhaps it was the fear that crept into your mind since you first told your husband of your pregnancy. You loved Eobard; he had changed so much since you agreed to leave everything behind for him. He had grown gentle and caring over time and you started to relax. But something changed after the pregnancy as you grew stressed, he became more irritable and far more on edge.

You tried your best to watch your words and calm yourself when you became irritable or moody, but it was difficult. You were miserable at that point and always feeling like you needed something, though you weren’t sure what. At night you started to have dreams of Central City back in your time. You dreamed of Team Flash and the smiles that would greet you every day you walked into the Cortex. You felt like you were part of something in that group rather than a useless coffee shop barista and soon to be stay at home mom. This wasn’t the life you envisioned for yourself at all but you couldn’t leave now.

You cried often when Eobard wasn’t around, the longing in your heart grew painful as a deep depression settled in which only added to your anxiety. There would be nights you would be unable to sleep just because you were frightened that Eobard could tell that you wanted to go home. You hadn’t talked to him about missing home. You chalked up your upset and depression to your pregnancy and quickly changed the subject whenever he asked what was bothering you.

You knew Eobard tried his hardest for you. He brought home whatever it was you needed, comforted you when you were crying as best he could, and started putting together a nursery for the coming child. He could sense that there was much more bothering you than just an uncomfortable pregnancy. He noticed a distant gaze in your eyes when you together at dinner and would often ask if you were alright, to which you always came back with the same replies, like automated responses.

When the time came for the baby to be born, you rested in a hospital bed, Eobard by your side holding onto your hand. Medicine had so far advanced by this era that birthing was made near painless and the baby arrived with no problem. She felt small and fragile as you held her in your arms, looking down at a pair of shining blue eyes that matched her father’s. You smiled honestly for the first time in months, forgetting the future and the past and existing only in the present seconds that ticked by.

When Eobard first held the child, your heart rate rose by a touch, so worried to see your child in the arms of a man whom you had seen murder anyone, regardless of age. He saw the fear in your eyes when he looked up at you and his face fell.

“Why?” He asked, quietly.

You looked down, ashamed he caught your nervous glances, “I’ve seen you kill before with no concern, no worry, no regard for the lives of others. Those images haven’t left me.” You whispered, not wanting any nursing staff to overhear you.

“Y/n, you know I’ve changed myself for you as best as I could. I have done everything that I promised you on that night you came to me. I have been here for you and I have cared for you because I love you. I am doing the most that I can.”

“I know,” tears began to form along your eyes, “and I want you to know how much I love you. You are the only person I have ever loved this much and the only person I ever will love this much. But you can’t say my worries and fears aren’t unwarranted, can you?” You urged, leaning forward.

This time Eobard looked down; down at the baby in his arms, the child that his beautiful wife created and grew all on her own. Such a precious child with all of his mother’s gentle features. He looked back up at you, looking you straight in the eye, a hand reaching up to brush the tear from your face. His thumb rubbed across your face with such a soft touch it was almost like it wasn’t there. You closed your eyes and leaned into his hand.

“Your fears are valid and as much as I wish I could take them from you, I know I can’t. But I have to know, what can I do to make you smile again? The smile that’s graced my life since the day I met you has vanished and I will do anything to see you smile at me the way you smiled at our child.” He pleaded, returning the child to your arms.

You gazed at Eobard, his blond hair falling over his face in golden strands, his blue eyes searching so hard for any indication of happiness on your face. His gaze was met only with an intense melancholy and a strong longing for something left behind.

“You are the only thing I cared about, y/n. Back in time, no one mattered but you. But now I have two things, two people I care about and would do anything for,” he placed his hand on the small baby’s head as he looked up at you, “and I cannot lose you. At the same time, I only want you to be happy. Seeing you this way, this sorrowful and distraught has given me nothing but pain. You want to go home.” His voice was heavy with the realizations that came to him.

You nodded, avoiding eye contact with Eobard, “I didn’t want to tell you.” your voice shook as you confessed your longing, “my family made me happier than I’ve ever been. I learned so much and I had so much support back home. Now I’m living in a time when they’re all dead, but to me they’re alive. I’m sorry, I don’t want to make you feel like I don’t care about you but it’s been difficult not being able to share any of this with them.” The tears flowed freely down your face now. 

“I love you but, Eobard, I want to go home.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your homesickness was growing unbearable, but Eobard was changing every day. Being a father changed him for the better. Can a compromise be met, or will your heart remain torn in two?

Home from the hospital, the nursery was set up and ready for the little baby girl in your arms. You smiled as you held on to the child, finally named Ramona, as you sat beside Eobard, your own head nestled in the crook of his arm. He cradled you as you cradled your child, both of you feeling warm and protected. Your mind was still restless, however, despite the arrival of your child.

Back in your time, your mother had no idea she was a grandmother. Cisco had no idea he had a child named after him. You couldn’t share your happiness with the people you had cared so much about. It was eating you alive. As hard as Eobard tried to make you feel happy nothing seemed to work. He had a party thrown for you with all of his colleagues, friends, and the few people you had gotten to know during your time in the future. No one came close to the people of the 21st century. You couldn’t relate to the music of the time, the culture, the fashion, nothing. You still felt so out of place.

You would often sit in the nursery with your child, telling her all about the past, Team Flash, your parents, everyone. Eobard had overheard you from the hallway, stepping in cautiously with a gentle smile. He came over to you, kneeling by Ramona, placing a gentle kiss on her head and one on your hands.

“You’re homesick?” He questioned quietly.

You nodded, “It’s hard. It is so hard. I know it’s been a few years now but I don’t belong here. I belong in the 21st century. I’ve tried to tell you this before but you wouldn’t listen to me. I don’t want to leave you, Eobard. You understand how much I love you, right?”

He nodded and you continued, “I obviously love you or else I wouldn’t have come this far with you. But at the same time, I left because I loved my family and I didn’t want them hurt. I didn’t want them in danger because of us. You have kept every promise to me since we got here, but I have no one else here but you, and half the time you aren’t even here. You’re working. I understand you have to do what you must but,” tears fell from your face, darkening the fabric of Ramona’s blanket, “but I can’t live like this anymore.”

Eobard sat back on his heels, looking up at you. He stood suddenly, “then you have to go home.”

You looked up at him, confused, “Eobard, I…” you hesitated, “we can’t go home. I can’t go home, I mean. I can’t… I can’t leave you.”

Eobard took your hand, his other hand resting on top of Ramon’s sleeping head. “You need to be happy. You need to be whole again so you can raise our child. It’s the only way.” He released your hand and stepped back, “I’ll breech you home in the morning.” He turned and walked out of the room as you sat in some dumbfounded stupor at his drastic change of heart.

You quickly laid your sleeping baby in a crib and took off after Eobard down the hall. You caught his hand, clutching onto him, causing him to stumble backwards and into you. You hugged him then and there, face buried in his chest. You felt his hand stroking your hair as he held you. Your thoughts were everywhere as your fists held on to his shirt. You didn’t want to leave him behind.

Since Ramona was born, your fears had dissipated as you saw him hold onto that child with such a delicate touch. You saw nothing but love in his eyes with every previous tinge of hatred melted away. You knew that when he was there, no one would ever be able to touch you or the baby in any way. You trusted Eobard with every fiber of your being now. No more fear or worry remained towards him and you finally learned to trust him again. All of this had made you love him all the more and even though you still longed for your family, you did not believe you could ever leave without him.

“My love,” he whispered in your ear, “I have to do what’s best for you. You cannot continue to live like this.”

“No, not without you.” you cried, “Eobard, I love you too much to leave you behind. Come with me.”

Eobard tensed upon your words “I couldn’t. I would never be able to show my face in the 21st century again. Not without the risk of harm to myself, or even worse to you or Ramona.”

You pulled back just enough to look up at his worried face, the sorrow in his eyes, “before I arrived here with you, you made me a promise: if I came with you, you wouldn’t hurt anyone I loved, right?” he nodded, “I would hope you would keep that promise, and I did come with you, but we can go back as well, so long as you can keep the promise you made to me. I kept my half of the bargain, did I not? I came with you, I lived with you because I loved you. I will love you no matter what time we are in or where we live, and if you love me as you say you do and as I can see you do, then you can keep your promise there too, right?”

He swallowed hard, looking almost fearful at the prospect of returning back to Central City in your time when Team Flash would most certainly try and kill him the moment he stepped foot back in the lab. But your mind had been made, you would not and could not leave without Eobard. You held his hand, as if he were a small child fearful of a monster in the closet, “You’ve protected me for as long as I have known you. Trust me and let me protect you for a change?” You pushed softly, hoping for his agreement.

Eobard sighed as his shoulders dropped, “you drive a hard bargain, y/n. I’ll think about it, okay?” He gave you a sad smile as he pulled your head back into his chest, resting his own head atop yours.

You went to bed that night wrapped up in Eobard, nestled in his warm embrace. You had never felt him hold you so tight as he did then, like you might be taken from him at any moment. You quietly whispered on about how much you loved him and he relaxed just a bit. You eventually fell asleep, his protective grasp still around you.

Something felt different when you woke up with a start. You looked around you with a sudden draft of fear blowing through your veins. You were in your old apartment, the very one you lived in when you first moved to Central City in 2014, the same one you lived in when the particle accelerator exploded.

You sat bolt upright in a cold panic, suddenly wondering if the past four years of living in the future were just a dream. Your panic lessened when you heard your baby cry from a small cradle next to you. You all but launched out of bed and lifted your child up and into your arms. As you held Ramona, you noticed a small note tucked in the cradle that you picked up curiously.

Your heart skipped a beat as you recognized your husband’s handwriting on the front, your name written in neat cursive. You sat back down on the bed, Ramona still cradled and calmed in your arms. You opened up the envelope and pulled out a letter:

“Y/n” it read, “You will find yourself home now, back in the 21st century, the year 2018. Please be aware that you will see me again, but you must give me time. Take care of Ramona, be with your loved ones again, and I will return as soon as I can. I love you dearly and I miss your loving embrace already. Wait for me, my beautiful wife. Wait for me.”

You scanned over the letter once, twice, ten times, you lost count. Your heart raced as you suddenly realized you could see your family again, but it raced because your husband was so far away. Not by distance, but he was existing only hundreds of years into the future. Ramona began to stir in your arms as you got up and placed the letter on the familiar nightstand of your old room. You weren’t sure how he did all of this and mastered all the details of your old home or how he got you here without waking you up. But with the sudden realization that you could finally see your family again took up the space of concern and confusion very quickly as you dressed yourself, navigating your apartment like you never left. You dressed Ramona and took off towards STAR Labs.

You arrived, entered with no trouble - as was typical at STAR Labs, no security - and made your way to the Cortex. You walked through the doorway and heads have never turned so quickly. Iris heard you walk in first and turned to see you come in. She jumped up with a start, “y/n?” she almost yelled causing everyone else to turn around.

Cisco, Harry, Caitlin, Iris, Barry, all gathered around you suddenly, embracing you warmly as a flood of questions came pouring out at the same time.

“It’s been four years are you okay?”

“What was the future like?”

“Did he hurt you?”

“How did you get here?”

“Is he with you?”

You answered the questions as they came and you introduced them to Ramona. Cisco was flattered to have a child named after him and blushed fervently when you told him. Harry held the baby while the rest of the team explained to you who on earth Harry even was. They also introduced you to someone new, an old foe made new friend, Ralph Dibney. You felt overwhelmed and overjoyed to be surrounded by your family once more, you almost forgot about the fact that you were missing Eobard as much as you were.

You called your mom while you were there, too. While everyone was in the Cortex, experiencing baby fever, you stepped into the hallway to call home. You explained as best you could what had happened without explicitly stating a murderous speedster took you to the future. But you still told her that she was a grandmother, which momentarily distracted her from the confused rage and sorrow she felt. You were beaming as you talked to your mother, and your father too, once he heard who was on the phone. You reassured them that you would visit soon, reiterated how much you loved them and missed them, and hung up.

Once you turned off your phone your shoulders fell and the deep and dreary pain in your chest returned as you longed for the safe embrace of your dear husband. You wiped away the tears that had forced their way to the forefront of your eyes as you made your way back to the Cortex. As you wandered the long halls, you ran into Barry who greeted you with a loving smile.

“Hey, are you alright?” he asked, noticing the redness of your eyes.

You nodded, “yeah, I’m fine, Barry. Just, a bit overwhelmed I guess.”

“You miss him, don’t you?” He asked, leaning against the wall.

“I mean, yes, I do. Very much actually. I know everything he did was awful, and it doesn’t excuse him killing your mother or anyone or anything but he’s changed, Barry. Becoming a father turned him around.” You explained, tears again forming in your eyes, “I have found reason to trust him again, and I love him with everything I have.” Your voice hitched as you longed for Eobard.

“Y/n, look,” Barry stepped forward placing a caring hand on your shoulder, “he’ll be back for you. He said so himself, right? And,” he paused sighing, “I know it won’t be easy for any of us, but for you, when he comes back, we’ll all try our best to support you. You’ve proved to us that you’re dedicated to this team, especially since you left to save us. You have a kid now and you’re back with us, and we’ve all missed you and as your family, we have an obligation to do our best to support each other, because that’s what love is, right?”

You smiled, wiping the tears from your cheeks, “thank you, Barry. I have missed Team Flash, all of you guys meant the world to me, and I am so grateful to be home.”

Barry smiled back at you as he put his arm around your shoulder, guiding you back to the Cortex. The warmth that you felt as your family embraced you, engaged you, made you tingle with happiness. You looked down at Ramona and around you at the faces of Team Flash. You were finally home.

You returned to your apartment later that night, Barry and Iris had dropped you off, walking you to your door and leaving you with warm goodbyes and hugs, remind you that if you needed them at all to call.

You settled in again. You checked your fridge out of habit, realizing there would not likely be anything in it. Much to your surprise, Eobard must have filled it as it was stocked with all of your favorite foods and drinks. You took a bottle of water for yourself and fed Ramona as well. You sat on the sofa, resting your head and closing your eyes when a knock on the door interrupted your dreary mind.

You approached with caution, unsure who was even aware that you were back other than the team and your parents, all of which would have most likely called or texted before arriving. You opened the door on a crack as a man stood outside the door,

“Hey, uh,” he held his hand out with a note in it, “I was told to give this to you. Dunno what it’s about but uh, here I guess.” He handed you the note and left, obviously feeling awkward.

You curiously opened up the note which revealed, once again, Eobard’s handwriting. You eagerly took it to the couch and read through it.

“I miss you, my love. I will be back in your arms in a flash. I’m sorry I left you like that. You must feel loved and at peace and I was not providing for you as best as I should have been. You deserve the universe, and I only provided to you a single star. I will return to you, trust me. You make me whole and I fear nothing but the thought of losing you. I will see you soon. I will reiterate one last time, I love you.”

You held the letter to your chest, as if you could take the love in the letter and manifest its meaning into Eobard himself. You went to bed with the letter still in your hands and Ramona lying in her cradle beside the best. The letter was clutched in your hand, pressed tightly against your chest as you drifted to sleep, dreaming of your husband’s return, so you could truly feel whole and at home once again.

**Author's Note:**

> Huge thanks to Alissa aka Queenmismatched for this prompt that created one of my longer works.


End file.
